It’s 4:30 in the morning right now. Like many nights these past few months, I have not been able to sleep because of rampant thoughts. Rather than staring out into a dark room, I will start a new series posts dedicated to keeping track of these sleepless thoughts. Hopefully, I’ll fall asleep! Yeah, this blog just took a weird ass turn.

Tonight’s topic is blogging.

Thought #1: Too much information

This site is becoming a hodge-podge of software projects, random and infrequent rants, and a design sandbox. Blogging is starting to become a habit again, and I’m really want to delve into more personal topics. Perhaps I should start a blog for that elsewhere? Do I really want employers and other random lurkers to read my posts?

Lately, I’ve had the balls to speak my mind on pretty much anything. With this blog, my balls are bigger (LOLWUT) since I likely do not know the readers offline. Oddly, I get a thrill out of having my fabuuulous name attached to this. No joke.

Thought #2: Self-promotion

At the same time, I’m not really going out of my way to get people to read the nonsense I write. I remember back in the “fleurchild” days (my old web design resource site and blog), I would diligently read and comment on other people’s blogs in order to gain a following. Now, I’m both too busy and lazy to attract other blogs. Excuses. Regardless of followers, I can always motivate myself to write something substantive.

Thought #3: Lurking

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT A LURKER. I lurk the blogs whose owners I used to be “friends” with (or “affies” for all you teen bloggers from the 2000s). I’m tempted sometimes to message owners and say, “Hey, it’s Julia. Memba me?” For some reason, I feel like it would be easier to do in-person than online. Nevermind, I’m delusional! Either way, it is awkward. I was never close to any of those bloggers because I hid behind an alias.

Thought #4: Staying on topic

Is it just me or is it really hard to stay on a single topic writing a post? I go off a million tangents and I think I spend more time thinking about when to write things. I eventually succumb to writing everything in bullet points or posting music. When I do stay on topic, I write an essay. Ah, it’s hard to find a balance.

Thought #5: Text everywhere

I hate putting media into my blog. It actually takes effort to look up images or videos and make sure they fit well with the aesthetic of the site. I get so pissed when I have to use my own bandwidth to host them. I have a practically unlimited hosting plan, but still. And yes, I’ve heard of TinyPic and other similar services.

I actually enjoy reading blocks of text. Ok fine, maybe if those blocks of text were written by me!

Thought #6: Being self-conscious

Does anyone else re-read their post a million times after it is written and enjoy it? *Waves hand in the air* I will read a post weeks after it has been written and improve its quality.

As cheesy as it may sound, blogging helps most people to forge an identity and even come to terms with insecurities. When it comes to ranting, writing it out somehow makes things less frustrating and more humorous.

When people tell me they enjoy reading my blog, it feels great. Since I was a kid, owning a website and writing a blog was form of self-validation. For more and more people, having a social media presence is an identity. Although I am active on Twitter and Facebook, having the control over a website is more addictive.

Thought #7: SLEEP

Looks like I’m about to surrender to sleep (maybe after revising this post). See you in the next “Insomnia” post!

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Post-grad bucket list
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Handling the haters

Be bold, take flight - tryangles!