Like the Types of CS Students post, this post obviously does not speak for all students in co-op programs. This is written from personal experience and observation, with of course some satire here and there.
Co-operative education is awesome right? Tied together with post-secondary education, it prepares the next generation of the work force in ways your typical undergraduate program couldn’t do. It also helps to inflate the egos of many self-righteous students. On the other hand, for many others, co-op becomes yet another erroneous measure of self-worth (read JobMine is like high school).
Shall we begin?
The “this job is my destiny” student
This student wanted the job since day -9000, and won’t ever let you forget it. They constantly reminisce about the interview and how awesome they did. Keener mode, on. Their enthusiasm makes you nauseous, but at the same time you secretly envy how lucky they are to be enjoying their job.
The “fuck this shit” student
Opposite to the last student, this one did NOT want the job. They stick it to the man by showing up to work late, stealing some office supplies here and there, and kissing their teeth like a ratchet diva. Maybe if they have balls, they’ll stop practicing personal hygiene and show up to work in a “I hate women, gays, and cats” shirt.
The “all the other co-ops are my competition” student
“Everyone is inevitably compared right?” Well, this student think so. Good luck ever trying to be friends with this person because they would rather see you fail than help you out. Whether they are quiet or loud about it, you can tell how much they would rather not share the spotlight with you around full-timers. Seriously, calm yo tits.
The “I’m just using this job to get to better places” student
This student didn’t get their ideal job, but they’re not going to cry in a corner and be bitter about it. Instead, they’ll work hard enough to get a decent evaluation in order to get it next time. Good for you!
The “why am I here *ahem* false modesty” student
“I don’t even know how I got this job, I was so unprepared!” Oh pluhheease, you tried hard. You spent hours googling possible interview questions and lost sleep the night before the interview. Don’t Anne Hathaway me, gurlfriend! You’ll continue to work hard, but insist to your peers that you never put any effort.
The “I would rather be in school” student
These exist?! For some forsaken reason, this student would rather be writing assignments and exams. They get excited over course selection too! Every conversation with them makes you dread the end of the work term. But eventually, every co-op student will experience symptoms of Stockholm syndrome towards school…
The “why am I in school” student
Working in the real world is just great – getting paid to work with like-minded people. This student has come to realization that dropping out of school would not be so bad. Dishona famiry and drop out?! Wishful thinking…or is it?!
Which student(s) are you?